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The grief after loss can be characterized by the prism of the Kuebler Ross model, Bowlby’s attachment theories, the Rund and Hutzler scheme, the comprehensive (more modern) dynamic approach by Dutro, the Stroebe and Schulz model, or the 8-step transformation model of Schneider’s sorrow.


James and Gilliland state in their study Crisis Intervention Strategies that they feel the Schneider model is the most holistic loss model, promoting post-crisis growth.

The model consists of the following stages:

1. Initial loss awareness – a strong stressor, a significant threat to loss of balance. It includes the physical, behavioral, emotional, cognitive and spiritual dimensions. There is shock, confusion, confusion, disorientation, numbness, distancing, disbelief and disorientation.

2. “Holding on” – trying to limit awareness of loss, focusing on any positive aspects for a while to keep from losing your inner balance. Trying to test known ways of coping with difficulties.

3. “Consent to leave” – ​​recognition of personal limitations. Giving up unrealistic goals, unnecessary illusions. This allows you to free yourself from attachment to what is lost. This is the stage that prepares the ground for new behavior and adaptation attitudes. Characteristic at this stage can be depression, anxiety, shame, pessimism, rejection. A person may be willing to abandon their current ideals, beliefs and values.

4. Awareness of the extent of the loss – mourning time. The most painful stage full of helplessness, hopelessness, even extreme sadness.

5. Gaining perspective – accepting the loss. It’s a sort of acceptance point that what happened is irreversible. A person accepts the past, gains distance, regains the balance between the positive and negative of the loss, gains perspective on the size and limits of responsibility for the loss.

6. Solving the problem of loss. Schneider argues that “the grief after loss ceases when the bereaved person is able to see and engage in active actions not related to loss, and when it is neither a reaction of letting go nor holding on to the loss.” It is, in a way, saying goodbye.

7. Reformulating loss in the context of development. It is a consequence of overcoming the sadness after loss, it can become a stimulus for personal development by reminding oneself of strengths, but also limitations, mortality and the end of time. This stage focuses on discovering potential, looking at problems as challenges, feeling curious again, looking for balance.

8. Transformation of loss to a new level of commitment. It is the stage of integrating all aspects of a person: physical, emotional, cognitive, behavioral and spiritual. This leads to acceptance and understanding. The transformation does not end the cycle of loss and sorrow after it, but it enables an approach to life “with greater openness and a willingness to submit to the necessity resulting from the structure of life” and the release of energy that releases new forces. This stage is related to: creativity, empathy, end of research, commitment, higher awareness.


Why I am wrtiting this?

well, lots of my clients I am meeting are experiencing such psychological crisis. Most of the crisis are based on the loss.

Working with light and medium crisis needs more effort and other tools – not traditional coaching.  Very often the therapy is needed.

Will write about it soon.