One day I got a question: does the time spent abroad and the number of removals reduce the possibility of expats’ psychological crises related to the loss?
the answer is yes and no …
Why?
1.
The first number of relocations allows us to learn to organize well, to orientate in a new place faster, to better prepare the family for the trip and challenges, and immunizes us to certain situations.
It’s a lot of life experience and skills that pay off later.
But does it make it easier to say goodbye to new friends? say goodbye to the place, lifestyle, culture or professional position?
Maybe or not, everything depends on our resources, the strength of our relationships, and our mental state.
Subsequent and subsequent relocatons, contrary to appearances, may become a greater challenge … because how many time can you build something from scratch …
2.
In the case of moving to a completely new place in terms of culture – the number of removals does not necessarily have to prepare us for the culture shock that we may feel … or how we will be welcomed in a new place and whether we will find our belonging.
3.
Also in a situation when the family left behind in the country needs more our attention and help, the next move (also for a long distance) may become just another emotional swing, a moral dilemma. It is a livid stressor, both social and pro-social.
4.
The next relocation is probably not as big shock as the first one, because we know the stages of the change itself.
We already know potentially what to expect, what we can influence and how to prepare ourselves for our emotional swing.
But we also change from year to year, we evolve, we have a system of values and our own identity that is being tested anew. So we can prepare for the verification of our self, as well as for ensuring adequate support and resources, both physical and mental, because we have an influence on it.
However, such work consumes enormous energy resources and is extremely emotional, it also takes a lot of time, and we do not always have all these resources at our disposal, especially when we as parents struggle with the sorrows, separation and regret of our children.
5.
Frequent relocations of the whole family mean that quite a large number (most often) of women do not take up another job, or the undertaken jobs are not appropriate to their education or experience.
The older the migrating person is – the uncertainty related to his own future and career development is huge, and the chances for a good job, allowing him to fulfill himself in the professional area, are smaller.
Of course, this does not mean that the chances of a good job or the development of one’s own initiatives are completely eliminated, but nevertheless it becomes a considerable challenge, and for some people it strongly disturbs self-esteem and self-confidence.
6.
Each relocation is a huge stressor in every area – from biological, through cognitive, emotional, social to pro-social. It requires a lot of energy and the ability to regenerate. We can prepare for it, but do we always have time to take care of ourselves?
I will come back to the topic …